Unfinished

Refreshed and back from holidaying in Egypt, I visited Aswan where undoubtedly the most popular and impressive attraction there is what is known as ‘the unfinished obelisk’. Set in a sandstone quarry, this ancient monument is the largest in the world and unfinished only because whilst trying to carve it out of the ground in one piece, a crack appeared and therefore never completed. On returning home, it occurred to me that we too have many unfinished obstacles to rival that one, and if I were a tourist guide taking my party round the capital, my commentary would go something like this. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to one of the most important areas in London. We are here at the junction of London Wall and Moorgate, where in the second century, the Romans began building the wall, finishing it two hundred years later. The present roadwork excavations you can see now, began in 1986 during the reign of the ‘Iron Lady’ and have made slow but unsteady progress through the Major years and now into President Blair’s term. If you care to look either side of the excavation you will see stationary traffic as far as the eye can see and this is a requirement under UK law, as all carriageway work should inconvenience the long suffering, congestion charge paying road user, above all else. In the event of these queues being deemed too short by the authorities, temporary traffic lights will be erected to ensure conformity to the Act. As is the custom for all carriageway rebuilding projects, a dedicated team of one archaeologist in his traditional yellow jacket, leaning on a shovel, works a solo three-hour stint before handing over to another road ‘buddy’ who does the same. This, ladies and gentlemen ensures all disruption continues throughout the evening rush hour. Tomorrow our excursion involves following a Private Hire, or minicab driver who will be desperately trying to find his way from Canary Wharf to Tower Hill. Please don’t forget to bring a packed lunch, as this will be a whole day tour!”